Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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