non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have aggressive nipples.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
