i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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