Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
