it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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