My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
