All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
