My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
