Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
