What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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