My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
