Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
