Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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