Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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