There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
