Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
