i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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