Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
