SEEEEXXX PLEASE
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
