Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
