you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
