I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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