You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
