guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
