so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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