She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My penis needs a shock collar
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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