Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize