Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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