he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
