How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
