I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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