But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
