I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
