I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
