yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
