I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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