I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
