I looked at my own cervix.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
