There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
