is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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