Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
