i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
