Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize