Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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