yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
