FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
