I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
