I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
