wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
pray to the hookup gods
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
