if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize