her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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