was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
