He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
