Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
