its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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