i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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