READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
