you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
