go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
