This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
